The Hope In Us
Sunday, April 27th, 2008
Sixth Sunday of Easter
1 Peter 3:13-22
Theme: “Harboring, living with and living OUT hope.”
NOTE: Before the service started, I noticed that one of our members who had just become a grandmother had come with her new grandson and her 7 year old son as well. She works nights at Wal-Mart, stocking shelves, and had come from work, to home, to church, with no sleep. Her daughter, the baby’s mother, has been gone from their house since Thursday. She has a history of severe mental illness, and is, I think, trying to figure out if she wants to be a mother or not. As the service got started the baby, William Matthew, began to cry – the music startled him – so I walked over and picked him up out of the car carrier. As I stood with him in my arms I began to think ahead to the message as it stood (the first part of this manuscript) and realized that there was more that needed to happen in this worship service than for me to get up and read through what I’d written. As the service progressed, I decided (after asking [Joan] if it was okay(both her and her daughter’s names have been changed)) to keep him in my arms and continue through the service like that. He joined me at the pulpit for the Morning Prayer, and when it was time to bring the message, I stepped behind the pulpit only to read the passage, which I read from the printout rather than the Bible, since both hands were occupied. When I say I am going downstairs, I was stepping down from the rostrum to the floor level of the sanctuary, and the rest of the message was delivered somewhat extemporaneously standing in front of the communion table, swaying a little from side to side, with that sleeping baby in my arms.
“13Now who will harm you if you are eager to do what is good? 14But even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, 15but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; 16yet do it with gentleness and reverence. Keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who abuse you for your good conduct in Christ may be put to shame. 17For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil.
18For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit, 19in which also he went and made a proclamation to the spirits in prison, 20who in former times did not obey, when God waited patiently in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were saved through water.
21And baptism, which this prefigured, now saves you—not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers made subject to him.
Manuscript:
It is important to me to let you know that you truly ministered to me in freeing me to go and be with my family after my Aunt Donna passed away last week. We knew she was sick, and we knew it was serious, and we knew it had the potential to BE life threatening. We DIDN’T – at least those of us who were not with her on a daily or weekly basis – realize that her condition due to her chemotherapy treatments was to be so weakened as to be life threatening in and of itself. The flowers sent for the funeral were beautiful. They went back to my sister’s with us after the service, and were a gentle reminder of your thoughts and prayers. Your ministering continued on my return when I read through all the cards we received in the past few days. You have truly been Christ’s presence through this sorrowful time.
But I can’t stop at describing the visitation and funeral as a sorrowful time. It was also a time of joy. As often is the case, family drew together as they were able. There weren’t as many cousins as there have been on other occasions, but there were a few of us, and to be able to sit and catch up and visit, and console each other – because we WERE all grieving – was a sweet and precious experience to live through together. There were tears, but there was laughter as well; at memories and jokes, old family stories retold, and new ones discovered.
To be allowed to speak words of comfort and shared grief at such a time is an honor and a privilege … and a burden. But overriding all, having the opportunity to speak to what Aunt Donna asked me to at her funeral brought home to me the reality of the fact that the difference we make outlives us far more than we realize, and into a far broader arena than we may ever be aware of, even though the group there consisted mostly of extended family and a few close friends and neighbors.
To be with my parents and both comfort and BE comforted by them and my Karen and Becky served to remind me of the hope we as Christians have in Christ – that hope that extends beyond the grave.
I think you know I am still a strong believer that the Gospel speaks as much to what we can do about the condition of the world we live in TODAY as it does about what the world we will one day MOVE to is like, but to be able to draw on that knowledge – that COMFORTING knowledge, in the midst of a sudden loss really does make a difference. Yes, there is sorrow, yes, there is shock, even anger, denial … all the stages of grief are experienced regardless of where we stand theologically. But to be able to at whatever point be able to step back and say with a degree of certainty that we will one day see Aunt Donna face to face is deeply consoling.
That, I think, was the hope Peter was speaking of when he tells us to be ready to make a defense to anyone who demands from us an accounting of the hope that is in us. Hope is born of certain knowledge. It is not ‘hope’ in the wishful sense – it is a hope that comes from a place that we may not be able to name, a place we may not understand, a place that we CAN only dream of on this plane of existence. But it is a hope born of a reality that we’ve accepted and understand as truth. That life does not end at death. And that the Lord we serve has conquered death.
So how does that connect with the world we live in – the world just outside those doors? We know it to be full of sorrow, pain and suffering. We know it to BE full of separation and struggle, of grief and a tearing, overwhelming pain that resonates with the brokenness of the world and our own brokenness.
Do we as believers come in and glibly smile and say to someone who’s lost a loved one “they are in a better place”, or “they are no longer suffering”? We could, if it is appropriate, and the time is right. We can even still say those things regardless of whether it applies or the time is right. But that runs the risk of causing more harm than good. Not because the intent of the person saying them is to harm, but because of the place the person hearing them is in.
There are times when the best we can do is provide presence; when the pain is too deep for words, when we must rely on the Holy Spirit to do the consoling THROUGH our BEING there. That goes contrary to what we would normally want to do, which is to PROVIDE sound – words that would in some way alleviate the situation. That is, after all, why we HAVE words; to USE them. But as I trust we’ve all experienced in our lives at some point, communication happens through more than JUST words. I think that’s what he means when Peter says, ‘do it with gentleness and reverence.’
To share even a well-meaning platitude can come across as uncaring. It is especially important to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit when we approach a family in grief for that reason.
What does this mean for
It means we practice being as genuinely honest as we can be. We don’t speak words we don’t mean. We don’t say something just for the sake of saying something. We learn to listen to that still small voice that prompts the words of Christ to come through our mouths, and we pray for the courage to follow those words with actions that back them up, as well as the courage to hold our tongues when the words that want to come are NOT his.
You displayed that welcoming spirit in allowing the memorial service to be held here for Chano a couple of weeks ago. You share of yourselves when we host a gathering for our Hispanic congregation here. When you have accompanied us at other gatherings, your love and friendship shines through.
It is in the building of those relationships that we establish the foundation on which we can share the good news of the Gospel with those who have not heard it, and it is on that same foundation that we build the relationships that give US the courage and the strength to go through whatever life throws at us together with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Most of you have heard by now that Frankie Sander’s mother, Mabel, passed away last night. Though she had been ill, it was again a situation where there was no sense that her life was in danger. Please pray for Frankie. He is the only child in the family, and the burden of carrying through with the arrangements is falling heavy on his shoulders. In being with them last night I was able to remind him that he isn’t alone, that he has a family of faith that is holding him up in prayer and standing in the gap for him, and surrounding them with our love. I would encourage you to reach out to Janet and Frankie and Summer just as you reached out to me. Though they will be gone to Lovingston for the next few days, returning in the knowledge that they have been prayed for and cared for will be a tangible way for us to be Christ’s presence to them.
Living, loving, serving. That is the ‘tag line’ under our church’s name in the newspaper and on the front of the children’s bulletins. I trust that we will always display those qualities in our community – that we ARE, in fact, a LIVING church – that we do exist in the present, that we are a LOVING church – in the way we reach out, welcome, and care for those around us, and that we are a serving church – willing to follow our Lord Jesus wherever he leads.
Transcript:
Good morning. I will try to pitch my voice higher so it will carry. (Suffering from a mild allergy reaction – my voice is affected – it is lower and gravellier (sp?) than it is normally – which is, to say, very little)
(read scripture)
You need to know how you ministered to me in freeing me and making it possible for me to go be with my family in the loss of my aunt last week. (Stepping down from the rostrum) I’m going to go downstairs, because this needs to be ‘right here’ (motioning to the floor – from the same level where people are sitting).
I am always amazed … I shouldn’t say amazed … I’m not even surprised … the flowers you sent were beautiful. They went back to my sister’s with us after the service, and they were a beautiful and gentle reminder of your prayers and thoughts for us during that time of sorrow. I can’t stop at calling the funeral a time of sorrow. I know you’ve experienced it as much as I have. There is grief, but there is, depending on the person, there is much cause for … for rejoicing in their life, as well as in the opportunity to get together with family. As painful as it is, being able to gather with cousins and aunts and uncles that in some cases I hadn’t seen for several years, was a strengthening experience. It … we did cry together, but we did as much laughing as we did crying, because you get together and you get to share the stories that you always hear, you get to share jokes, and you discover new stories that you HADN’T heard.
And you realize in times like that that THAT is what God working through family MEANS. That is where you get the face of God looking at you in the midst of sorrow.
I don’t know statistics, because this just came to me, and I didn’t have time to research it (grin). But I remember reading an article somewhere about … it was either a prisoner of war, or someone who was being held captive, being held hostage, talking about what the hardest part about being isolated was – and it was THAT – it was the isolation – it was the sense that you were alone, that there was nobody else BUT you, and that it was you against your captors – armed, strong, multiple, and you were maybe in pajamas, or not wearing ANYTHING, in a cold cell.
But it was … the defining factor in providing the wherewithal to get through THAT experience was the knowledge that they were, in fact, NOT alone, that’s what gives prisoners strength, that’s what gives prisoners of war strength when they are able to communicate with each other. They may still be in their isolated cells, but in being able to KNOW that they are not alone makes all the difference in how they get along, in how they survive.
So in a way, it was that experience for us, because we got together and we knew that we were not alone.
Uncle Adrian KNEW that he was not alone.
Mike and David KNEW that they were not alone; they had their families, but they knew that they had an extended family around them, that they knew loved them and cared for them and was praying for them.
And I knew that you all were there for me, too. And it was just reiterated when I got back and saw all the cards, and the calls, and the comments.
You do that very well.
And I KNOW not everybody here was in on it, and that’s okay. Because that’s part of what a congregation IS. There are folks who … um … lead, and folks who follow and folks who take part in and folks who are … are … part of the … what’s the word? … part of the ethos, part of the surrounding atmosphere. That whether or not you are actively involved in calling and making an order for flowers, or if you’re sending a card, KNOWING that you are part of the caring community makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
It’s reflected also when you all let us host a gathering here. When you go to our gatherings when we’re at a different church, your friendship and your love shines through. It was reflected when you allowed us to have the memorial service two weeks ago for Chano. It gave a place for people to come and to gather and to grieve and to begin the process of healing at the same time that they were able to honor Chano’s life.
You’ve heard Mabel Sanders passed away last night. The word went out, and I thanked Janie for going ahead and calling on the prayer chain (even though it was late – after 9:30) because that was … that was one of those things that need to be KNOWN in order to get the prayers going.
As sick as she may have been, there was no expectation that she was anywhere near death, and it stunned them. The … um … But being able to walk into their living room and to sit down with Frankie and him look at me and say “How do you DO this?”, and me be able to tell him “I know I’m not alone, that God is right here next to me, and that I am surrounded by folks who love me, and YOU are surrounded by folks who love you and care for you and are praying for you RIGHT NOW” made the difference and brought home to him the fact that he was not alone. He WAS an only child, but he was FAR from alone last night.
And if I may (glancing down at William Matthew) … [Kylie] is not alone. [Joan] is not alone. (Looking at [Joan]) Am I going to get it right? Is it William Matthew or Matthew William? (Answered) William Matthew.
William Matthew is not alone. I’m not doing a baby dedication, but I am going to take the freedom to speak for myself and my family, and you are free to join in, (now looking at William Matthew) but you are not alone. You will be loved and surrounded, cared for, because that is what gives us hope. That’s the hope that Peter was talking about. That we have to be ready to give an account of what it is in us that makes us keep on keeping on.
I can talk about life after death, and that’s part of it. I can talk about being fearless in the face of persecution, which is what Peter was addressing, but ultimately, the hope that we have is in knowing that we are not alone.
Let’s pray.
This beautiful family, O God, that cares, and loves, and expresses it, and shares it, I give you thanks for each and every one here. Lord, you have called us to care for each other, to be brothers and sisters to each other, to hold each other up, to be there to lean on, and to lean. For your spirit that infuses each of those moments and calls us to commitment, to you and through you to each other, that draws us not only closer to you but closer to each other, Lord, help us, through Christ our Lord, amen.
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